In general, Im better at giving advice than I am at taking it….. On first dates, Im better at asking questions than I am at answering them. During break-ups, Im better at actually breaking it up than being broken up with. During classes, Im better at raising my hand and provoking the teacher than I am at keeping quiet. When my parents would decide Id screwed up in some way, I was better at digging myself in deeper than acting repentant. And during pretty much every part of my life, Ive spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to fit my foot in my mouth…..
So Ive basically come to the conclusion that my biggest problem is that I cant shut my mouth and open my ears. And believe it or not, in surveys given to couples who are at odds, a lot of times, the estranged pair will complain that one or the other doesnt know how to listen. Hmm…. Sound familiar? I thought so, and thats why Rule #1 of the Rules of Engagement is to LISTEN! Youd be surprised at how much can be solved, or avoided all together by just shutting your own trap. No one wants to hear anything that you have to say that badly anyway. So stop tooting your own horn, and give a listen to what the other guy is saying.
Giving advice is fine- but you have to be able to take it too. And putting someone through the inquisition the first time you get them alone, while possibly being very informative, doesnt do a lick of good if you cant shut up long enough for the other person a chance to get to know you. Relationships are a two-way street. And it doesnt matter what kind of a relationship it is either. Countries would never have a hope of international peace, if one king didnt stop the flow of words every once in awhile.
So when you finally get to go out on that awesome, exclusive first date with Mr. Hunkalicious, remember that even though he might seem really into your in-depth conversation on flower arranging, he has hobbies too. And if you dont give him the chance to talk about them, he might just think youre conceited…. In which case, youve just killed your chance of a second date. So take a sip of soda, dab your lipstick, smile, and stow the comment on your neighbors tulips. Guys can actually carry on a conversation given the chance- so let him surprise you.
Until next time!
P.S. Wondering how youre actually supposed to score that “first date”? Stay tuned!